People who consider judge how good a piece of art is based on how much of a replica of reality it is do not understand art well. They do not realize that one of the most important reasons to do art is to escape reality itself.

i've been feeling very floaty and disconnected the past few days (weeks)?

i need some sort of an anchor to get me through this month. hm...

in the meantime... i hope everyone that uses this platform is doing well! i made myself some hot chocolate by frothing milk with bits of dark chocolate and raw cacao. surprisingly not as bitter as expected! i had some of the tastiest coffee ever earlier.. maple pecan cappuccino.. yum

web creating wooo!

i love xnghan

i messed up the end of my previous post, somehow. anyway, all i'm saying- there's no need to be cruel or judge (everyone is built different, you got no right to validate or invalidate ANYONE!). just be loving, and free. don't latch yourself. you validate yourself. your strength is always yours. use it for what you feel right.

i've become somewhat of a work machine since i think, three days. this stretch, mode, whatever has come after almost an year, maybe. feels good. so i've started being somewhat direct. i don't know if that's a good change. i mean, normally i'm quiet af and don't say things that actually need to be said- so maybe this is actually a good change. my emotional bandwidth is somewhat low, but this work mode will probably pay off because i have exams upcoming.

actually, this is just me being super-egoistic. this low-emotion-bandwidth has stemmed from extreme emotions. that's funny. this is me wanting to take revenge knowing that i'm right. i'm right to want to be happy, and only happy. i'm right to feel whatever the hell i felt, because yes, it hurt and why should i put up with it? i'm doing this to prove my philosophy right. comfort and happiness, for me, will always win over 'potential' or 'learning'. that is just how i am and imma prove it now. the bighead idea of these fancy things forgets that everything done in the end just narrows down to you tryna be happy. eh. rolls eyes.

anyway- big lesson for me, too- enough of beating myself up for everyone and everything. i can't be that invalid, surely. i don't really have to do this. i don't have to take everything upon myself all the time. sometimes, sure. not all the time, though. the reason i do these things is to keep me and my loved ones happy but if i'm so crushed every moment of every day it will completely morph me into an unhappy, boring soul.

ah. well. make friends. i understood this. attention deficit can be terrible. if you find it difficult, it's okay- it's not all entirely your fault but you'll be the one to be cooked so better adjust a bit and sail along with people who might not click exactly right rather than be so drowned in loneliness. if you're easy with people, good for you!

the worst thing you can do if you have low self-esteem is to damage it even more. if something hurts just throw it aside. you don't have to keep simmering with anything that hurts your self-esteem. it's not for you. you just picked the wrong emotion. it can be scary at first, but just try peeling it off a bit. it'll get better in no time.

whatever happens, don't let yourself fade. give some importance to yourself, too. you don't have to be worth anything because you're already very, very expensive. don't worry. you have your own glitter that no one else does. value yourself. fight for it when you know you're right. there's no damn need to back off.

nah, i'm n

to-do: get more sleep

its been a tough few days!







i've been lucky enough to see some beautiful sunsets around where i live though ^^







i hope you enjoy

its been a tough few days!

[img]https://guhguhguh.neocities.org/sunset211/IMG_4328.JPG[\img]

i've been lucky enough to see some beautiful sunsets around where i live though ^^

[img]https://guhguhguh.neocities.org/sunset211/IMG_4340.JPG[\img]

i hope you enjoy

every day alive feels like torture i don't even know what to do anymore. at least i'm still breathing? still eating? is that enough? probably not. i want to disappear from my friends lives soon. it's really easy to do because i only have friends online, not irl. most of them won't have to deal with the pain of forgetting my face because they've never even seen it. just kidding, i don't think they'd miss it even if they did